6:30am Thursday May 13
We’ve had a restless night so I’m off to the vet with Chester again this morning – I can’t seem to get a handle on whatever is going on with him. Whatever it is isn’t good. He is uncomfortable when he’s awake and then sleeps so soundly I have to check to see if he’s still breathing. None of this bodes well for us and I know it – he doesn’t have a clue. Our finish line is drawing closer and I’m going to have to muster the courage to cross it.
Do I prolong this end with pain control? And if I do who am I doing that for? Buying time is tricky business. I hate that this decision falls to me. I hate that loving something this much precludes an equal amount of pain.
Can I find courage by writing about my lack of it? I guess we’ll see. What I’m hoping for him is a better tomorrow – I have the ability to buy him that whatever the cost. What I’m hoping is that tomorrow is here with me.
Noon
I found my courage.
Chester doesn’t hurt anymore.
He would have done more days for me if I’d asked, in pain or not.
I loved him too much to ask.
Comments (8)
So sorry, Elva. I can sympathize with you. Been there and will probably have to make that big decision with my two senior cats one day.
I am crying with you Elva. I have said good-bye to seven of my Bouviers and it never gets any easier. I try to remember the goofy things that they did every day that made me laugh out loud. My sadness is immediately lifts. Take care, say safe….Shelagh
Im very sorry for your loss of Chester. He was an unconditionally loving companion and I understand the loss all too well. Much love to you Elva. Please call me some time. Always love to hear from you. Your friend, Mark.
Oh no! I cried when I read that Chester is gone. I am so thankful that I got the chance to meet him and give him love when I saw you two on your walks. Was this sudden? Maybe he is playing with Rylie now 💙 so sad I definitely know what u are going through. You were kind enough to listen to me when I told u about Rylie, then Rooney and then our sweet Bo. Thinking about u
There is a time and season for everything, it just may not be at our choosing. My heart aches for you. He did his job Elva.
My heart breaks for you.
Elva my heart hurts for you and your lose. You fought so hard to keep Chester healthy. Wish I could give you a big old fashion hug. 🥰
Oh, I am sorry for you. I know how hard it is to n my ale that call. Thinking of you, because you took his pain away you know it was the right time to do it.