Surviving Christmas again
We did it, survived another Christmas without him. This year the holidays were emotional but accepted in a fashion that would have made him proud. Although his physical presence has disappeared we all carried a piece of him into the season – he was with us in spirit. We were less afraid to acknowledge the empty […]
The eve
It’s a wrap – we’re putting 2019 to bed tonight – tomorrow will be the first day of a brand new year, a day of resolutions and promises. It will also be Wednesday, the middle of the week and half way to the weekend. Tomorrow will be special and ordinary in the same moment, the world will […]
It’s almost here…
Last year at this time I was rattling around a family home that didn’t hold a family anymore – just me and two dogs wondering if we should even bother with Christmas. I was lonely beyond words, sad in a fashion unbecoming and lost – in short, I was a mess. A lot has happened in […]
Nine sleeps
Like a stealth cat, Christmas has been sneaking up on me. It’s being cautious this year, mindful that my balance is still precarious. ‘Tis the season to make merry but too much merry can push a girl to tears. Christmas notoriously brings more grief than joy to a lot of people – loss is magnified by the […]
One more second chance
Nothing rouses me from sleep faster than the sound of a dog threatening to barf on the bedroom carpet – the anticipation of last night’s supper making a second appearance is a real motivator to jump out of bed. It’s a great way to start the day. As always, the offending creature is miraculously cured […]
From time to time
From time to time I revisit a blog and touch base with the past. Sometimes the words make me squirm and I wonder why I thought those thoughts were worthy of sharing and I’m embarrassed. I see a million ways I could have expressed myself better, written better. Other times the words give me pause and I wonder […]
The secret
My granddaughters are having a race to see who can grow up the fastest and I wish they’d stop. I’d like to hold onto this moment for a little while longer, to keep them in the shadow of reality for a day or a year or two more. I’d like the magic of make believe […]
Christmas is on its way
There’s a chill in the air this week – the season is about to change. The grass is frosted in the morning and the metal latch on the gate is being stubborn. The wind has been chasing brittle leaves across the sidewalk, their scurrying edges clicking on the pavement like the high heels of fairies […]
The magic of time
My grief has been the focus of my life for the past year and a half – I devoured it as much as it devoured me, it’s been all consuming. I’ve been a faithful servant of that grief; I fed it, nurtured it and kept it safe. We were attached, that grief and I – we […]
Two peas in the pod of life and death
Guest blogger Deborah Solski shares her intimate story of loss and the support she received from strangers — strangers who became her hospice family. A few years ago, the love of my life was diagnosed with terminal cancer. It shattered our lives and crushed our dreams of hand holding and wine sipping when we eventually retired to our […]