Tag: grief recovery widowhood memories

Another year – all the seasons, all the celebrations, all the drama. The kids have missed their dad and he has missed it all, again. I have missed him with an ache that is now so much a part of me I don’t go anywhere without it – it’s a shadow that drifts across my […]

I have been living in my new house for just over a week and it already feels settled. True only the ambiance is settled, I still have boxes of to sort, a contractor to find, a dump run to make – I’ve got a mountain of stuff to do and yet a calm has befallen […]

Earlier this week marked the second anniversary of my husband’s passing. I wondered for days around the date if I should write about it or not – I finally decided to just let it be and gave myself permission to feel it without sharing it. I’ve shared a lot about this journey over the past […]

I woke up yesterday thinking about all the widows I know – an odd thought to have first thing in the morning, but there you go.  I took a mental tally and counted a dozen with very little effort – a dozen women I know well enough to have lunch with – I was shocked.  Then I […]

We did it, survived another Christmas without him. This year the holidays were emotional but accepted in a fashion that would have made him proud. Although his physical presence has disappeared we all carried a piece of him into the season – he was with us in spirit.  We were less afraid to acknowledge the empty […]

Sometimes his gone-ness hits me square in the heart – it’s a surprise attack of alone-ness, and I am done. Done in.  Un-done.  Done of it.   I’m having one of those days today.  I’m doing my best to stay busy and focused, to stay positive- but I am failing miserably.  Grief is bullshit – […]

I had occasion recently to swear on a bible. I held the worn black leather book in my right hand and promised to tell the truth. To say I swore to tell the truth would be a stretch, but I do take a promise seriously.   I’m not sure who actually bears witness to promises […]

Thirty-one years ago I walked in the front door of this house with my husband and three children. Our furnishings were sparse but we immediately set to the task of settling in and living the life of a busy family enjoying that life. We were participators, joiners, get-involveders – it didn’t take long to fill […]