I’ve been taking pictures and gathering stories for five days. I’ve laughed at his dog and his granddaughters and wished he was here. I’ve witnessed the life he is missing and has missed for almost a year and my heart felt heavy even in the lightness of the moment.
The ocean is alive, the tide comes and goes, the wind blows and clouds shape across the horizon – the landscape has no clue who has missed this day. But I do.
I wonder at times how he would have coped if he’d been the one left behind. Would he be seizing these days, witnessing life for me – gathering memories and leaving an impression?
I pick my way across the beach with hesitant steps, unsure of my footing. He was braver than me – rocks or logs, it didn’t matter – he was sure footed. My steps are tentative, careful. I am tentative and careful, in step with myself and making my way toward the tomorrows. Would he have done the same in braver, bolder steps?
The ocean has reminded me of the infinite, reminded me that life is fleeting and reminded me to take notice. There are no answers in that infinity, no bonus days or extra time. There is only this day.
Comments (2)
Carpe diem Elva!! You are doing the best things possible with these heavy days.
Wendy – seizing the days, or at least trying to.