My granddaughters are having a race to see who can grow up the fastest and I wish they’d stop. I’d like to hold onto this moment for a little while longer, to keep them in the shadow of reality for a day or a year or two more. I’d like the magic of make believe to linger even as I feel it slipping away. I fear Santa is on life support this year and the girls are caught between believing and being afraid not to. I worry some cocky kid on the playground will spill the beans about the Claus just to watch their hearts break and confirm their suspicions.
I was too close to the situation to actually notice the moment my children and I switched roles – the moment they became the keeper of the secret of Santa Claus and started to pretend to believe. I think my granddaughters may be broaching that portal, the place where they hang on to believing just to keep the magic alive.
Magic is tricky business – it hovers somewhere between make believe and lying. My husband and I eventually got to the stage with our kids where someone had to come clean. I can’t remember I who blew Santa’s cover but it wasn’t quite the big deal I had been worrying about. Santa didn’t die once the cat was out of the bag; stockings were still hung, gifts still appeared and magic prevailed. The spirit of Christmas lived.
I see my little girls and my grown children struggling this year – to believe or not to believe, to pretend or get real – and I want to tell them not to worry. The spirit of Christmas isn’t fragile and it isn’t going anywhere. I still hang onto make believe because I do believe – I believe in the spirit of giving in whatever form it takes and that has nothing to do with growing up or growing old and everything to do with magic.
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Take them from believing in Santa to being Santa.
One anonymous parent, whose idea went viral through an admiring Facebook post, came up with a brilliant idea that takes that last point to the extreme: Tell children that, while they don’t receive presents from Santa, they’re now old enough to become Santa. She explains:
When they are 6 or 7, whenever you see that dawning suspicion that Santa may not be a material being, that means the child is ready. I take them out “for coffee” at the local wherever. We get a booth, order our drinks, and the following pronouncement is made: “You sure have grown an awful lot this year. Not only are you taller, but I can see that your heart has grown, too. [Point out 2-3 examples of empathetic behavior, consideration of people’s feelings, good deeds etc, the kid has done in the past year]. In fact, your heart has grown so much that I think you are ready to become a Santa Claus. You probably have noticed that most of the Santas you see are people dressed up like him. Some of your friends might have even told you that there is no Santa. A lot of children think that, because they aren’t ready to BE a Santa yet, but YOU ARE … We then have the child choose someone they know — a neighbor, usually. The child’s mission is to secretly, deviously, find out something that the person needs, and then provide it, wrap it, deliver it — and never reveal to the target where it came from. Being a Santa isn’t about getting credit, you see. It’s unselfish giving.
Liz- that is lovely and brilliant! Thank you for sharing. (And Merry Christmas!)