Christmas is on its way
There’s a chill in the air this week – the season is about to change. The grass is frosted in the morning and the metal latch on the gate is being stubborn. The wind has been chasing brittle leaves across the sidewalk, their scurrying edges clicking on the pavement like the high heels of fairies […]
A Different Vantage
This past weekend my daughter and I attended a fundraiser in aid of a new hospice residence – the keynote speaker, a recent widow, was billed to talk about her experience with hospice. As the master of ceremonies began her introduction my daughter, fearing I might find the speech upsetting, quietly asked if I’d like […]
Learning to live with grief
The month of March used to herald spring, blustery days whispered winter was almost over and brighter days lay ahead. That isn’t what it’s whispering this year, this year it hasn’t heralded anything but the end of the month and it’s only whispering memories. Last March is a blur, I couldn’t tell you what was […]
February 14
The kids have been busy coloring and writing valentines, cupcakes have been sprinkled and I have cinnamon hearts on my mind. It’s February 14th, 2019 – my first Valentine’s Day without my valentine. In truth I didn’t think this day would shake me up, we’d never been big on the occasion, that said, it was […]
Last year…
Last year at this time disaster was hanging over us like a sorcerer’s cloak – we had no clue what evil was afoot only that it was big and black and scary and we were ill prepared to face it. Last year at this time that sorcerer didn’t even have a name, he was hiding […]
Mt. Memorabilia
The attic has been emptied and now the rest of the house is a complete disaster. They say it’s always darkest before the dawn but I’m having a hard time even imagining the sun rising over all this clutter. I feel like I’m living in an episode of ‘Hoarders’ – there is crap everywhere. I’ve […]
A Christmas Lightbulb Moment
I’ve been dragging my heels and hanging onto November with my fingernails – doing everything in my power not to face December, but here it is. November gave me the slip on Friday and on Saturday my family pushed me into the festive season like a kid tossed into the deep end of the pool […]
Where I’m At
I still have maudlin moments, moments when I let memory walk me back into that sterile hospital room where I indulge my grief and relive the hours just before he passed away. I place myself in the middle of the nightmare – the dark center where the air is thick with fear. Back to when […]
One step at a time
I still wake up some mornings and get splashed in the face with overwhelming sadness, other days it arrives like a soaker; ice cold grief seeping through my shoes, into my socks and numbing me from my feet up. Either way I get drenched on a daily basis. I thought I’d be further down this […]