Secret Santa

I haven’t done much in the baking department this year – my little helpers all go to school now. It isn’t as much fun to disaster the kitchen by myself. I’m thankful I grabbed every available afternoon with the girls when I had the opportunity to. They are growing up faster than even my own kids did. I feel like I’m going to blink and Santa Claus will be a secret they are keeping too.

I remember learning the secret about Santa Claus many years ago. I don’t remember who burst my bubble but I’m willing to bet it was some eight year old in a playground. Secret keeping is a learned skill, one that requires direction and practice; elementary school isn’t known for this type of personal development.

I remember feeling torn between what I suspected was reality and the fear of not believing anymore. I couldn’t ask my mom about it – if she was, in fact, the real Santa and I wasn’t believer any more I figured chances were pretty good I would wake up to an empty stocking on Christmas morning. I was compelled to feign innocence for a while longer.

We are watching our seven year old granddaughter have her doubts this year – chances are pretty good the gig is up. It’s us adults who are feigning innocence now. Maybe if we don’t acknowledge her suspicions the magic can sparkle for a little longer.

Our three granddaughters are our last kick at the Claus – once the secret is out of the bag there is no putting it back. It’s not that Christmas won’t be special anymore, it will just be less magical. Kids will start searching closets weeks before the big day in the hopes of ruining their own surprises. They may stop and have a photo taken with the mall Santa, for old times sake, but the glitter will be gone.

I’ve lived the story with my own kids and we’ve waited a long time for Santa to be real again. I would like him to hang around for a while longer. The little girls are five, six and seven years old now – once the first one falls prey to reality it’s a safe bet the other two will follow suit.

Secret keeping is a tricky lesson. There are secrets that should never be kept but then there are those that should be. Secrets are a crap shoot until you learn the difference.

We had an impromptu lesson on keeping secrets just last week. Our five year old was super excited about the gift she was going to give her seven year old sister for Christmas. She had in her possession the perfect present and was itching to tell someone about it. She whispered the secret into the ear of her six year old cousin. The six year old thought the gift was just as exciting as the five year old did. It was the perfect present and the secret was just too wonderful to be kept. The six year old went directly to the seven year old, who was to be the recipient of the perfect present, and let the cat out of the bag.

You can imagine what happened next; there were some tears, some hurt feelings and a discussion about the importance of keeping secrets of this nature. Perhaps this experience will come in handy when the questions about Santa Claus start popping up. Maybe the universe handed us a personal anecdote we can use when we try to explain the importance of keeping a secret so as to not ruin the magic for someone else. Or not.  Time will tell.