Elva Stoelers

April 22

April 22, 2019.On Writing.#grief recovery widowhood memories writing

A year ago today, April 22, 2018, I put my brave pants on and announced on the blog that my life had changed forever. I reached inside for a sliver of courage and wrote the words: I am feeling lost – perhaps words can lead me home. I’m going to try to blog again. […]

Downsizing – round two

April 19, 2019.Momentos.#Moving forward

I have spent the past three months leaving home. I’ve been packing, purging, and plundering the stuff of my life. I said goodbye to sentiment and weighed the importance of everything I owned. It was tough. Goodbyes are never easy, but that part of the adventure is over – I am now arriving and this […]

This Dog

April 14, 2019.Momentos.#Chesapeake bay retriever

So, it might be possible the worst dog in the world has come into his own. You know the dog – the guy with the file at the vet’s office the size of a phone book, the one who eats poison plants and toilet paper. It turns out that dog has matured into something quite […]

Postcards from the past

April 12, 2019.Momentos.#grief recovery widowhood memories moving

I saved my wedding dress, circa 1978, and packed it carefully into a Tupperware container along with my going away outfit and the fancy navy blue three piece suit my new husband wore as we embarked on our life together. We were a snappy pair back then, drenched in hope and lust – newlyweds. […]

Rubik’s Cube

April 9, 2019.Momentos.#grief recovery widowhood memories moving

My daughter and her husband purchased my house, we signed the deal in January They have been working steadily toward their move date ever since. Where it was perhaps a bonus to be able to make some renovations and move things in a little early I fear the benefits have now been outweighed by […]

My last night at home

April 6, 2019.Writing From The Wound.#grief

The dogs have gone to bed with their usual cookies – they have been a little confused with the action in here of late but they’ve coped with it in dog fashion, a couple of treats and all is well with the world. The same cannot be said for me. I am tucking myself into […]

A household cleanse

April 4, 2019.Writing From The Wound.#grief recovery widowhood memories

Thirty-one years ago I walked in the front door of this house with my husband and three children. Our furnishings were sparse but we immediately set to the task of settling in and living the life of a busy family enjoying that life. We were participators, joiners, get-involveders – it didn’t take long to fill […]

One long year

April 1, 2019.Writing From The Wound.#grief recovery widowhood memories anniversary

We went to the mountain to reminisce and remember – it seemed like a good place to mark the anniversary of the worst day ever. The sky was crayola blue – the shade children choose to color perfection around cartoon clouds – and the snow outlined evergreens excited about the season. As I gave […]

I survived

March 27, 2019.Writing From The Wound.#grief recovery widowhood memories anniversary

My words are failing me right now. Perhaps the emotions of this week are better felt than articulated, they are too big to convey. The anticipated end of the year of firsts is just days away – the end of this year of coming to terms. We have survived. We are survivors. But I am […]

This day

March 23, 2019.Momentos.#grief recovery widowhood memories

I’ve been taking pictures and gathering stories for five days. I’ve laughed at his dog and his granddaughters and wished he was here. I’ve witnessed the life he is missing and has missed for almost a year and my heart felt heavy even in the lightness of the moment. The ocean is alive, the tide […]