A Christmas Lightbulb Moment

I’ve been dragging my heels and hanging onto November with my fingernails – doing everything in my power not to face December, but here it is.  November gave me the slip on Friday and on Saturday my family pushed me into the festive season like a kid tossed into the deep end of the pool – we toured a Christmas light palooza.  Christmas is coming, like it or want it or not.  Hell, it’s almost here.

I’ve been part of a Scrooge-like resistance this year, like that flailing child in the deep end of the pool I’ve been kicking and sputtering, noisily denying that which will not be denied – the season is upon us and we will soon be into it over our heads.  The only way to avoid drowning is to relax a bit and swim. 

In truth now that I’m in the pool the water’s not that bad. It turns out Christmas wasn’t the problem, I was – I’ve been trying to stop the world from turning.  Perhaps it’s natural to want to hide from time and cling to the past when the future looks scary, but in doing so I’m cheating myself out of today. 

I’ve always loved Christmas, it’s been one of my favorite times of the year as far back as I remember. Inasmuch as it was fun to wait for Santa when I was a kid, it was even more fun to be him – being able to make wishes come true was a dream come true for my husband and I.  Now I get to watch the recipients of all our Santa-ing be Santas themselves and it is magical. If I hide from the season I’m going to miss all the fun.

It seems I’ve been so focused on an empty chair I have lost sight of the fullness of the season; the music, the lights, the excitement.  The guy in the red suit is as real as the decorated tree in the living room to my granddaughters – who knows how long that will last.  If I sleep through Christmas I will miss the magic. 

There is no doubt this Christmas will be hard, I won’t be the only one noticing the empty place at the table, but it can still be joyful. I needed to get chucked into the season, I needed to get my feet wet before I missed the show. A Christmas light palooza was exactly what the doctor ordered – it was a Christmas lightbulb moment.