“What was I saying?”

I’m having a devil of a time finishing a blog post right now.  I have several false starts on my iPad – essays which at their onset had potential but petered out before I could wrap them up.  I’m full of good ideas but lately I’m having trouble finishing a thought. 

This isn’t just a problem I’m having while writing – I’m finding I lose my place in a story in the middle of telling it. I have many “what was I saying?” moments during the course of the day.  I lose names and words on the regular.  I’ve turned into “that” old lady, the confused old girl standing in the middle of a room wondering what the hell she was looking for.

I’ve headed back to the drawing board so often lately I’ve worn a path in my subconscious that seems to go nowhere.  I trip on fragmented thoughts, stumble on fading memories and generally walk in a circle – I’m getting to that nowhere faster every day.  It’s a bit disconcerting. 

I’ve confided in a few friends and told them about this growing problem.  Being very good friends they are always sympathetic.  We begin a heartfelt discussion about forgetfulness until one of us forgets where the story was going and the conversation has to loop back to the beginning in an effort to try to remember.  

Even now, while trying to tie up this short piece, I’m finding it difficult to find the words to bring it to a close – I’m having a “what was I saying?” moment all by myself.