What is the honking hurry?

I was sitting in traffic the other day when a driver in the lane beside me leaned on his horn, probably to inspire the driver in front of him to take a chance she was clearly uncomfortable taking. Startled, I glanced in the direction of the horn honker. I must have looked surprised – he had pulled me from my rush hour meditation. He shot me a look that suggested that if I had a problem, he would help me resolve it. The driver in front of him appeared unfazed. The traffic light worked its way through a preprogrammed cycle and pedestrians mozied through the crosswalk. The honker continued to stare at me like I had become the reason he was stuck behind a putz who didn’t realize he was in a hurry. He radiated anger.

I willed the light to turn green but it wouldn’t be hurried. The man kept staring. I felt like I had become an unwitting recipient of road rage and my heart began to beat a little faster. I’m not good with confrontation. I don’t know what I thought that angry driver could do to me – we were all just waiting for the light to change. People in other cars seemed unaware of this tension – some were still singing along with their radios, others were checking their teeth in their rear view mirror. It was only me, and this guy, who seemed to be at an impasse.

The incident may have last 10 seconds, or a week – time had been warped. The light finally changed, the angry man peeled around the corner to push the tail of the car in front of him. I carried on through the rush hour with new food for thought.

Why are people in such a hurry? Why were horns invented? What gives anyone the right to push their hurry onto someone else?

I’m not sure what the horn even sounds like on the vehicle that I drive. It may be a reluctant toot or an aggressive honk, I’ve never had occasion to find out. I think the only thing that would compel me to honk my horn would be flames coming out of the tailpipe of the car in front of me , or maybe to warn them of an alien attempting to climb into their backseat. Even then it would require a second thought or two before I hit the horn – I’m just not so inclined.

I don’t know why that aggressive driver felt he had the right to push his agenda onto the woman in front of him. I don’t know why he got so mad at me for noticing. He was obviously worked up and thought he could bully his way to wherever he was going. Whatever had put him behind schedule had happened before we made our acquaintance at that traffic light and had nothing to do with me. And yet I was still sitting in his rage.

I always take a horn honk personally, which is what compelled me to make eye contact with that honker. My first thought is always that I’ve done something wrong, or that someone is warning me about an alien in the backseat. It usually only takes a second or two for me to assess the situation. I have been the recipient of a honk or two in my day – once when the driver behind me happened to be my husband and he wanted to wave hello. The honk always startles me.

I don’t think that angry honker was trying to wave hello or save anyone’s life, I’m betting he was honking because he was in a hurry and the world was supposed to accommodate. He was angry when the woman in front of him didn’t take him seriously – he was angry that I obviously didn’t either. I have no idea what he was in a hurry about (maybe he was late for his anger management class – perhaps his dog was having puppies) but that is really beside the point. He was being aggressive and rude and a confrontational jerk.

And then I realized I was giving this jerk too much thought. People get honked at all the time. People get stared at all the time. A split second in rush hour traffic turned into a problem I was spinning my tires on all the way home. The honker was probably carrying on on his honking way to wherever he was in such a hurry to go. The person he honked was probably picking her teeth at a different traffic light and being honked by some other hurried honker. And here I was, putting miles on a moment stuck in traffic.

Suddenly I had an epiphany. I realized I actually don’t give a honk about why anybody honks – I just wish they didn’t. Honking is for the birds – geese in particular. The next time someone honks in my vicinity I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear.  But I will still check my rear view mirror to make sure an alien hasn’t snuck in behind me.