Throwback Thursday – October 26, 2017

BC Parent July 1999

High Tech Horrors

The mantel of my family room fireplace is littered with eight remote controls… count ‘em, eight. Lined up in order of size, I dust them once a week. Don’t ask me what they’re for, some don’t even have batteries. But there they sit in their high tech glory. One, I know, turns on the television; I stumbled upon it the other day. One bump and I had surround sound booming from four corners of the room — sub-woofed into semi-consciousness, I fumbled with the buttons frantically trying to lower the volume. Channels switched and words popped up on the screen in lime green letters. I finally flipped from blue screen to mute. Silence. My heart in my throat, I slumped on the couch. The world has taken a turn which I, in mid-lifedom, am afraid to follow.

Gone are the days when children were fascinated by the fact the light in the fridge came on when they opened the door. Kids today program VCRs and surf the net. As they download, I overload. When the power goes off in the house not only am I left in the dark, but I face the daunting task of reprogramming all things electronic when the lights come on. Clocks on the VCR, microwave, coffee pot, bread maker, alarm clock and stove flash ‘12’. I’m down for the count.

I remember watching my mother’s face as we tried to explain to her how to set her digital radio alarm clock. She never did get it right, but then we never expected her to. Her learning curve had peaked at operating a 3 cycle dishwasher. My father still fights with his telephone answering machine, his message evidence of the stress he was under when he recorded it.

My children have explained to me, not less than four thousand time, how to record ‘Beverly Hills 90210’ for them. My face screws up, just the way my mother’s used to, as I ask the same questions time and again. My learning curve peaked with the microwave.

I’m sure the cordless telephone was invented so parents could be talked through any electronic disaster in any area of the house.

As I watch my teenagers operate the VCR to tape a show that will be on a week from Tuesday, I find myself wondering where their learning curve will peak. It’s impossible to imagine where technology will turn, or determine the point where these young wizards will be left in the dark.