The problem with a sleepless night

I tossed and turned for most of the night last night – I worried the hell out of everything I could think of.  I tried all the suggested tricks to fall asleep and the moon shone a spotlight on my efforts. I spun my tires on family, friends and finances.  I fretted about the dogs, the blog and the growing list of jobs I’ve got to do.  I dove into the problems of the world and created new ones of my own.  It was a long night.

I have a sleepless night from time to time, it’s never a good or productive thing. At some point I eventually fall asleep so I can wake with a start and begin to fret again.  When I wake up it takes a second or two to realize the day has taken a giant step ahead of me and I will have to put the jets on if I want to catch up.  This morning was no exception but I’ve decided to tackle this day differently – this morning I’m going to surrender to time and let the day win the race.  I’m going to put one foot in front of the other and pace myself. 

I find it easier to reason with myself in the morning, none of the things I worried about during the night are insurmountable in the light of day (except for the state of the world, climate change and growing old – but those problems will have to wait for the next sleepless night).  In the light of day most of the problems I’ve been spinning my tires on become challenges.  A challenge is something altogether different than the burden of a problem – a challenge is something that can be met.  

I am having a challenging time right now.  I’ve spent several months living in the fog of devastation where my only goal every morning was to make it to bedtime. I was fortunate to have the opportunity to take those months to do that, I was able to put reality on hold for a while.  But reality has shown up like the UPS guy with a giant box of stuff I don’t remember ordering and now I’ve got to figure out what to do with it.  

I am certainly not the first person to be chucked into this place of confusion – everyone faces challenges.  I have resources and friends and options, what I need now is perseverance. What I don’t need is another sleepless night where hopelessness reigns.  Today I’m going to try and turn all my problems into challenges and put my shoulder into meeting them.  Hopefully sleep will find me tonight.