It turns out that Thursday’s post, a throwback to 2002, was Grammaniaonline.com ‘s one hundredth episode. A milestone. I’m doing a dazed happy dance. An idea I decided to run with back in May is still running. One hundred posts – it appears I have been talking your ears off for seven months. You’ve learned a lot about me through these posts, but In truth I’ve learned more about myself by writing them. It’s been quite an adventure.
I have appreciated every ‘like’ and comment – talking to you has become something of an addiction. I’m still not sure why I’m blogging but I do know it’s keeping me on my toes, in the moment and on the lookout for a story at all times. I look at life a little differently when I’m writing, a little closer and that, to me, is a blessing. If getting older has taught me anything it’s that time is of the essence – it’s a finite property and something that shouldn’t be squandered. Watching things closely is a good thing.
I started the blog unsure about what I would write about – it turns out I’m not fussy, I will write about anything. I’ve written several posts about dogs, more than a few about aging (fighting it, celebrating it, complaining about it), I’ve written about writing, reading and being stuck in traffic. I’ve complained about birds, dirty windows and cleaning the house. I’ve grieved on the blog, I’ve remembered and dreamed. I’ve put my heart out there and not one person has hurt it. You’ve made me brave.
It has been said that getting to know yourself is rather like peeling an onion. Layer after layer, with tears in your eyes, you get to the heart of things. As I’ve peeled the onion I have learned that some of my most uncomfortable memories have been more of a blessing than a curse. That the only way to the other side of anything is through it. I’m learning if issues are important they shouldn’t be skirted. If a piece makes me squirm, it’s probably hitting a nerve. And if writing about something breaks my heart a bit, chances are it will resonate for some of my readers too.
I’m learning to be honest. I’m growing more confident. I’m digging deeper and exposing more of myself all the time. I still find all this honesty and soul baring a bit intimidating. I have second thoughts, and then second thoughts on the second thoughts, every time I post. I worry my lighthearted pieces are foolish, I worry the serious posts are dark. I worry I’m making an ass of myself in front of the world. But in spite of, or because of, this worrying, I feel like I’m stretching myself. I’m tackling fear.
Thank you to everyone who has clicked, read and reacted to these posts. My new goal is to polish and promote my page. It turns out it didn’t kill me to step outside my comfort zone…. I’m poised for the next leap – thank you for being the net that appeared.
— Elva