Inlaws / outlaws

My daughter and her boyfriend left for Paris on Friday. She is coming home sporting a ring and a fiancé – her dating days are over. I love this young man who is soon to be my son-in-law in the same fashion that I love my existing in-law children – like I birthed him myself.

It makes sense I would love the people my children have chosen to spend the rest of their lives with. Each of these acquired in-law children emulate the values our family has always held dear. They are thoughtful. They are kind. They are honest and sincere. They look at the world from a happy place, a hopeful place. In short, they are good people — my kind of people.

My mother-in-law never really cottoned to me. I was never her favorite person. My sense of humor annoyed her, my housekeeping skills were sub par and my children were a little more out there than she would have liked (they were seen as well as heard). I didn’t measure up. I was more of an out-law than an in. Given the fact my husband wasn’t overly keen on his mother left me to wonder, at times, if he had married me to spite her.

All this leaves me feeling triple-y blessed. I have won a jackpot in each of my in-law children.

I may have learned more about in-lawing through my experience as an out-law than anything else. I learned that the smile on someone’s face is worth more than the money in their wallet. I learned that appreciation has to be heard in order to feel it. I learned that pride comes from what you do and not what you have. I learned that it is important to feel worthy. My mother-in-law withheld all of this – I won’t make the same mistake.

I am so excited to officially add this young man to our family. I love how he loves my daughter. I love how she loves him back.