The dogs and I spent a quiet evening at home last night, the first of what I’m certain will be many once I get settled and things settle down. I sat on familiar furniture, surrounded by familiar things in an unfamiliar place.
Although he has never walked in this front door I feel like he is here. He sat in these chairs, studied the art on the wall and stroked the dog at my feet. He has touched almost everything around me. I brought the essence of him with me.
Memories have their way with me in the quiet and that’s not altogether a bad thing. I wasn’t running away from my past when I moved, I was carrying on. I never intended to leave all the emotional stuff behind, I just needed the emotions to back off a bit while I sorted through things. I’ve downsized my house not my feelings, they are as big and intense as ever. 
In the quiet of the evening I realized again that in order to revisit the happy times a person has to walk through the other stuff too. I’m getting better with that walk, I can acknowledge the discomfort, accept the imperfections and carry on toward the good stuff – it’s worth the effort.
I feel like the ‘hurry’ in my life has abated, I can breathe a little easier, take moments to reflect and plan and maybe even dream of new adventures – and remember.
Comments (6)
Reading your words, brings me in tune with the best part of human feelings. Your self-compassion, frustration and grief, are written so eloquently. Please ensure this collection is made into a book for all to share.
With great admiration,
Eileen Butler
Eileen – thank you for your kind words and for reading the blog. My hope is to write that book – the encouragement of people like you gives me confidence to try.
Thank you for the words. A friend once said to me she felt she had to find her legs again, after her husband’s death. I was unsure at the time but I have come to know the feeling well. To be our best we need to be able to walk by ourselves and no one can do that for you. Take your memories and walk.
Lesley – nicely put “take your memories and walk”…. good advice.
Happy to see you moving on. As hard as it must be. Please keep writing From The ❤️
Thanks for following along… ❤️