I did it – I pulled the ladder down from the ceiling and prepared to face the cavern in the attic above the garage. Cold air wafted toward the floor like the breath of a sleeping giant, heavy with the aroma of something drunk on the past. I steadied myself. My climb was tentative and slow – I’ve never been good at ladders. I’ve been less good at facing the reality that is the attic.
I knew the boxes of family Christmases would be closest to the opening – my husband and I heaved them up there when we undecorated last year. We’d just chucked boxes through the opening willy-nilly, letting them land and settle wherever there was room. I’m surprised nothing fell on my head as I pulled the ladder down.
I found the extension chord and plugged in the light that dangles from a rafter up there. The single bulb illuminated a disaster area. The attic is home to the homeless – boxes and boxes of treasures have waited for someone to claim them for decades. The hope that they will find a forever home after all these years is slim – even I have forgotten what we thought was worth saving back in the day.
I haven’t got the gumption to deal with anything more than Christmas right now but soon the forgotten booty will have to be faced – it will be a showdown, resolve vs sentiment, and it won’t be pretty. I’m not looking forward to it. For now it seems enough to drag the holiday season into the light of day – I will face the other boxes some other time.
I’m not sure why I want to decorate the house this year, fluffing the garland is a thankless job even when someone appreciates the effort. Aside from hosting Christmas dinner I have no plans to entertain over the holidays. I’m feeling nostalgic not energetic. This is probably the last year I will get to welcome the season through this particular front door. Small potatoes on the sad-o-meter, but something to consider. This house has changed forever, all the decorating in the world will never make it feel the same, but maybe I should give it one more Christmas with me at the helm. I’m going in….