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I am heartbroken today – love did it to me. Love and connection. My darling false killer whale, Chester, passed away this morning. One of my favorite friends at the Vancouver Aquarium – he represented everything good and possible for animals living in human care. He was loved by many. There will be more than a few broken hearts today.

I’m a bit embarrassed about how badly I’m taking this news – I’m a grandmother for Pete’s sake. I’ve lived through losses, big and small, and today I am devastated about a critter I never even got to touch.

I’ve been checking in with Chester least once a week for the past ten months. He was my Thursday date. I’ve watched him sleep and play and just hang out. I’ve explained his story to people who thought he looked a little bored, who maybe thought he’d be better off out in the wild. Chester was rescued because he was dying out in the wild, he got a second chance in human care. He got a second chance because humans care.

I’m trying to wrap my head around this wave of grief. Logic tells me that Chester got three and a half years of life he would have never had were he left on Chesterman beach, out in the wild. Three and a half years of love and care. My heart then reminds me that he was still a baby, a sweet baby, and the tears roll again. I find myself in a rocky boat tonight.

Two of my granddaughters have been coping with the loss of their Beta fish this week – their darling Rainbow, who lived like an exotic flower in a fishbowl on their kitchen counter, passed away on Tuesday. Rainbow was a good fish – the third in a string of Rainbows over as many years. Rainbow the first, and the second, passed without fanfare – risen from the dead before the girls even noticed the empty fishbowl. Children shouldn’t have to face the finality of death while they still wear footed pajamas. The girls are now five and seven. Rainbow the third warranted a funeral.

Grief is not something to be taken lightly – it is real and it hurts. Those little girls are mourning. And today, so am I. The creatures we are mourning meant something to each of us, they were loved, and this grief is the price we pay for that. What my little girls and I are feeling today is life, the down side of the high. I’m sorry for the hurt, but thankful these humans care.

 

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