Hello Sunshine

I’m feeling blessed today and the only thing that has changed is my point of view. People have been handing me offerings for weeks.  They have been placing these offerings in dark corners where they sit like little tea lights in a votive. They sparkle. The offerings come as gestures, comments, support – they come in the form of shoulders to lean on or cry on.  They come unannounced and sometimes uninvited. They are gifts from my closest people and from some who have surprised me.

I have appreciated each offering – each one made me feel loved and supported. I’ve been grateful everyday but today feels different. This morning I’m seeing the offerings as a collection – each gesture has become part of a whole. Those twinkling tea lights have come together to light a room. I’m not sitting in the dark this morning, for the first time in what feels like a very long time. 

I am going to work hard to hang on to this feeling – I’m going to try to put myself between the winds of sorrow and these precious flames.  I’m going to protect them. 

Grief arrived as a large dark cloud. It planted itself firmly over my life and settled in like a winter storm. But today the sun is poking through – rays are hitting my world like a God painting. The dark clouds have parted a little bit and although the cloud is still hanging on the horizon there is a whispered promise. Better days are coming. 

Grief is a journey, it is a long road to a place of acceptance.  The only way to acceptance  is straight through the middle of grief.   The path is dark and messy. Today I’ve noticed something new, little glimmers are lining the path – lighting my way. I think they may have been there all along, I just couldn’t see them through my tears. 

I’m not predicting clear sailing from here, from this lighted morning, but I’m going to make an effort to look for the lights when the cloud descends again. They will be there, they were always there – offerings of love and support, glimmers in the darkness.