A very dear friend of mine is celebrating her birthday today. Like me, and so many people at this stage of our lives, there is nothing she needs or wants. So I decided to gift her with a blog post about our friendship and what she means to me.
Of the many wonderful things my writing adventure has brought to my life friendship is the greatest. This particular friendship was forged in classrooms, living rooms, face to face at meetings and by email over miles that separated us. It was based, in the beginning, on a very personal honesty – our thoughts on paper.
We met at a creative writing course. Each of us had taken a giant step out of our comfort zones. Neither of us had a clue where this new adventure would lead. That was more than 20 years ago.
This writing class was the first time I had appeared in public as myself in a long time – I wasn’t somebody’s mother, or wife, or sister – I was just Elva when I was at school. I was nervous as hell to walk through that classroom door. Looking back I probably appeared standoffish and quiet – the only things anyone learned about me were revealed through the assignments I handed in.
Writing is always an inward journey – it is usually (always) scary. When newly born words appear on the page we writers tend to be gentle with them, we nurture them, we love them. We are reluctant to hand them to someone who might ridicule them. New words, like new writers, need time to mature – to develop – to grow up. This friend met my first born words with an open tenderness. She made me feel like she loved those words too, and I trusted her with them.
Her assignments revealed things about her too. Through her words I learned she was witty, thoughtful and a master at dialogue. We were several classes into our creative writing adventure before we actually got to know one another as the people the rest of our worlds knew us to be. I discovered my instincts were correct – she was witty (damned funny); thoughtful (in the fashion of the friend you would call immediately with exciting or heartbreaking news); a master of dialogue (she and I can stretch a brunch date to supper time and not run out of things to talk about).
She has become one of the best friends I have ever had. I feel like I’ve known her forever.
I have read that friendship is never an accident, I believe that. But I also believe that nurturing a friendship is a choice – a choice by two people – which is why true friendship is such a gift. I am thankful for that creative writing course for so many reasons, not the least of which is the friend I found on the other side of that classroom door.
Happy birthday Pam – I just love you.