So it’s thanksgiving and I’ve got a hundred things to be thankful for, I’m making a conscious effort to count them and yet… there is a black curtain hanging in front of gratitude this year – a barrier separating me from all the blessings in my life
I know I don’t have a monopoly on grief – my children are feeling it, my friends, my family – there will be a vacant chair at the dinner table this year, whether or not we set a place for him. We will all know who is missing, we will all feel his absence, and we will all say grace and be thankful regardless. Because we are all thankful, regardless.
I don’t have to look far to see something to be grateful for – most days I trip on magic. But I don’t have to look far to see the hole in my life either, it hits me in the heart every time I turn around. This past six months have been a challenge and it doesn’t seem to be getting much easier, in fact some days it’s harder.
Reality is a tough pill to swallow, I keep tackling one more hill only to find there is another one on the horizon. We did the funeral thing. We tackled the paperwork. We scattered the ashes. We made the applesauce. And now we have to give thanks. It never seems to stop and in truth it probably won’t – there will always be one more hill, one more thing to do.
When I look beyond that black curtain there is a huge thing I need to be grateful for this year. Amidst all these challenges, all these firsts, I’ve had a ‘we’ — ‘we did’, ‘we tackled’, ‘we scattered’, ‘we made’, and ‘we’ are still standing. I am grateful for the ‘we’.
Whatever life throws at me I have discovered that I will never have to face it alone – for that I am grateful beyond words. I will be giving thanks this thanksgiving; thanks for my people, thanks for the support I continue to receive and thanks for the many memories I have. Giving thanks for all the blessings in my life.
Happy thanksgiving everyone.
Comments (1)
1/2 a year of firsts, 1/2 a year of more firsts to go. It will get easier but meanwhile you have your people. Xox