Desire, commitment and creativity

My muse, or whatever it is that helps me pull the words from the universe, has taken a break. I’ve been having trouble writing a blog post this week. I have half a dozen ‘starts’ but not one damn ‘finish’, on my iPad. This isn’t a real problem on the scale of real problems in the world, but it’s a problem for me – a worry.  

I impose deadlines on myself – it seems I need someone with a big stick lording over me to get things done in a timely fashion sometimes – even if the stick is imaginary and the person lording over me is me. I’ve been trying to create a rhythm on the blog – two posts during the week and one on the weekend – I’ve been told this is how reliable bloggers do it.  I’d like to consider myself reliable.

My muse and I have an ‘off and on again’ relationship – I’m not sure which one of us is the flake but neither of us can be totally trusted to stay a course for an extended period of time.  I’ve been surprised our relationship has been so steadfast these past months – surprised, pleased and skeptical.  I keep expecting one of us to take a vacation, and it appears one of us has.  

I’m not expecting her to be gone long, she left her stuff behind; desire, commitment and creativity. The desire to write is fumbling around without her, the commitment to the blog is stomping her feet and creativity is crying in a corner. They/we are a mess, we need her to come home.  

The act of writing to me is something akin to eating lasagne – I love it.  But to make a decent lasagne you need a lot of ingredients, so it goes for writing. With the muse on hiatus I fear this post will taste like a lasagne minus the cheese – but post it I must, I have the other ingredients; desire, commitment and creativity. Maybe if the muse realizes we intend to go on without her she will be embarrassed enough to come back.