I’m not sure if I believe the moon can dictate moods or if I would just like to blame my moodiness on it – use it as a scapegoat. Does everyone ride an emotional roller coaster?
Is confidence a commodity? I know we can build it but just as certainly I know we can knock it down. My confidence comes and goes – I’m not sure I lose it or if it’s stolen when it disappears but the void it leaves fills with insecurity and I start to question myself. This is where I’ve been these last few weeks – in the void confidence left behind.
I’ve been a writer for long enough to know a person can’t wait to be struck by inspiration before they get down to the business of writing – if you wait for the lightening bolt you’ll never write. If a person wants to fill the void they need to start tossing words into it – maybe not inspired words (you can’t wait around for those) but ones freely tossed – disposables. With luck those disposables will accumulate and inspiration will follow – if not there’s nothing wrong with a void filled with random words.
I fight with insecurity all the time – it’s usually a backseat driver but lately it’s taken the wheel. I’ve been here before. I’ve written about this before and I’ve survived. I know myself well enough to admit if I let too much time pass before I write again I will lose my way. I’m going to toss these random disposable words into the void. I’m going to challenge insecurity. I’m going to reach for the wheel. I’m going to get back to business.