I’ve been exploring my new website; poking around, clicking icons and feeling quite fancy but getting a little lost at the same time. I’m a person who likes familiarity and right now even my own words are looking less familiar- I feel like a visitor.
I will get the hang of things, I’m confident of that. I’m old enough to know practice is the trick – it may not make me perfect but it can give the illusion that at least I’m trying. And I’m all about illusion. Illusion is what gets me up in the morning, it compels me to brave the makeup mirror and inspires me to wear a lot of black. I’m going for the illusion of confidence but beneath all the smoke and mirrors the same insecure person is still biting her nails.
I’m really pleased with the website – it’s tidied up beautifully – yet I find myself holding my breath a little bit. This first post in the new format feels like a first date, like I have to put my best foot forward and make a good impression. I feel like I’ve got to be all spit and polish and punctuate perfectly – and we all know that is a tall order for me even on a good day. But I’m going to do it. I’m going to hit the publish button like the boss I pretend to be and then I’m going to get back into the rhythm of posting a few times a week.
I’m bound to be tentative to start, that’s my nature, but that didn’t hold me back before. This gussied up blog and I are going to venture to places we’ve never been. We are going to try some instagraming, some sharing and some shameless self promotion. We are going to reach further into the blogosphere and see what happens.
This new look is my next brave step, and like every journey I’ve ever been on, it can only happen one step at a time.