This past weekend my daughter and I attended a fundraiser in aid of a new hospice residence – the keynote speaker, a recent widow, was billed to talk about her experience with hospice. As the master of ceremonies began her introduction my daughter, fearing I might find the speech upsetting, quietly asked if I’d like to take a walk. Her cause for concern was genuine – grief is tricky business, once out of the box it is sometimes hard to put back in. I opted to stay – I felt if this woman was brave enough to give the speech the least I could do was be brave enough to listen. I’m glad I did.
She talked about Hospice and about her experience with death and dying and the loss of the love of her life. Her words and feelings were heartbreakingly familiar but there was also something cathartic about listening to her story, something that gave me pause. My grief backed off a bit and let hers into my heart. I felt her story. I felt her courage.
Grief is complicated. Over the past eighteen months I have written thousands of words about my journey – looking back on those months and words I realize many of the blog posts were actually letters to grief itself. I wrote what I couldn’t otherwise articulate and there was comfort in that. I wrote my truth and my heart and it helped. It seems this keynote speaker had done the same with her speech.
Time is working its magic on me – a year ago I never dreamed I would write those words. A year ago I was settling into grief so soundly I thought I’d never see or feel the light again. I thought grief was my new home, that I was destined to live there forever. But I was wrong.
Listening to that keynote speaker made me realize that hearing other people’s stories is cathartic too – that grief shared becomes lighter. It gave me a different vantage of the journey I’m on. With this in mind I’ve invited that speaker to share her story on the blog later this week – to be a guest blogger. Stay tuned for Deborah Solski’s guest blog on Saturday.