25 Things

I was playing the ’25 things people would be surprised to learn about me’ game with my daughter recently – it helps the miles pass quickly when you’re driving. It was my turn.
“They’d be surprised to learn that I have tap shoes”.
My daughter agreed.
“They’d be surprised to learn that I have a live squirrel trap in the attic”.
“Yes,” she said. “But I know something about you that they’d be really surprised to learn.”
My curiosity piqued. “What is that?” I asked.
“That you’d secretly like to give a TED talk.” She smiled like she’d just answered the million dollar question.
I couldn’t remember letting that particular fantasy slip. “Wouldn’t everyone?” I asked.
“No,” she laughed. “You are the ONLY person I’ve ever talked to who dreams about that.”
I suddenly felt a little silly – there’s a reason I kept that dream to myself – I was afraid people might think it strange. I have nothing to give a TED talk about, but the vision of a room filled with people hanging on my every word is appealing – I mean, I can’t even get my dogs to listen to me most of the time.

This prompted a little introspection – about the TED talk I would give, given the opportunity to give it.

I’d probably open with that story – explain that I was in no way an expert on anything. My list of credentials is short – there is only one item on it; I have lived for 64 years. I’d tell them a little story about my high school graduation. How I’d dressed in all my finery and walked across the stage to receive a rolled message instead of a diploma (i can’t remember the actual message but it was probably along the lines of ‘you should have tried harder – see you next year’).

I’d tell them about signing up for a creative writing course when I was in my early twenties. How the instructor read my homework aloud as an example of what he was after in the assignment. How I’d been too embarrassed to return to the class the next week – or the following ones. How it felt like I’d been handed a magic wand and I’d botched my first spell.

I’d tell them about the passage of twenty busy years – how I was forty before I signed up for another lesson in creative writing. That I didn’t even realize that the desire to write was still festering somewhere inside me – perhaps looking for an opportunity to escape to find a more willing conduit.

Maybe I’d talk about Harry Potter and his seven years spent at Hogwarts honing his wizardly craft. How he had be born with a gift and only had to learn how to use it. That for me, it appeared, writing was that gift – and that I’m still learning how to use it.

It is only in recent times that I have cursed my lack of a diploma – berated myself for not paying closer attention during grammar class. But my words still appear on the page. Sometimes I just toss a handful of commas and periods into the air and hope they land in an appropriate spot. People still get my message (I hope).

I’d secretly love to stand at the front of a room full of willing listeners and deliver a message worth listening to. I’d love to sprinkle inspiration on someone with a hidden desire. Perhaps in just giving my talk about the nothing I know would give someone else the courage to really make a difference.

TED talks are like doing a shooter of enthusiasm. I’d like to buy a round for the house.

As for the other 22 things people would be surprised to know about me… you may have to stay tuned, I’m busy working on a TED talk that I’m going to deliver in my dreams.